19 April 2014
I have known Cockburn's coach Steve Charlton aka 'Charlie' for many years and on several occasions as a player and a coach have seen him exhibit a very strong character, he also happens to be responsible for some of the best dummy spits of all time as a player and a coach but that's another story.
Steve would have needed every ounce of that character last week as his team ran into a Buccs team hell bent on achieving higher scores than Moot playing a round of golf. Whereas last week the damage was done from long range this week saw 'Charlie's Angels' suffered on the inside as the Buccs applied the blowtorch in the paint.
Talking about having a blowtorch applied this was the fate one Jarred Brennan was heading for during 'Hezza's Hoopsters' pre-season having apparently geographically mis-placed the team's uniforms. Now I have had the pleasure of knowing the lovely Helen Bertoli for a little while and while she would do anything for you she is also likely to do anything to you when it comes to mistreatment of the Buccs jerseys.
Fortunately a crisis was averted at the last minute with the uniforms found and Jarred being saved from an unfortunate meeting with the other type of blue flame.
Now road trips are always a good source of material and a recent incident at one of those two hallowed institutions i.e. The Cataby Roadhouses was no exception. In this case it took over ten minutes for an increasingly frustrated assistant coach to convince one of the attendants they had not just served the comedian Chris Rock two Chicko rolls and can of Pepsi. To his credit while insisting he looks nothing like him Bennie has said he will put together a standup routine for the player's review at the end of the season which I think is more than decent of him.
Rumour has it the controversial use of drum lines to catch sharks is not a problem Geraldton will have to contend with following recent comments from a Midwest Fisheries officer who was quoted as saying:
"Up until recently we were looking at setting some drum lines due to increasing reports of shark sightings from surfers however this all changed when the Sun City Plumbing Buccaneer's starting point guard purchased a paddle board. We have it on good authority he spends so much time underwater flapping around having fallen off that it is acting as a fantastic deterrent to our finned friends"
Asked if this policy was likely to change his response was the following.
"Providing Luke does not invest in a pair of floaties to keep him above water I see no reason why drum lines should ever be needed on our coastline"
12 April 2014
In similar fashion to our beloved Buccaneers the regular 'Backcourt Buccs' segment had a somewhat slow first two weeks of the season however with Hezza's Hoopsters putting a promising 3 game winning streak together and me finally putting pen to paper (well finger to keyboard at any rate) it's time to let the fun, games and sledging begin.
Let's start on the court where last weekend saw 'Bombs away Bennie ' lead the lads to rollicking 20 pt win on the back of some long range offence that nuclear missiles would struggle to emulate. Crushing our country cousins from the region of overpriced property and even more overpriced wineries is always an added bonus particularly when it coincides with the first home win of the year.
Off court and the antics have reached an extraordinarily high level for so early in the season and I am quite literally struggling to choose from the treasure trove of anecdotes that I have been furnished with from my unnamed source.
One of the younger members of the squad has taken the not unusual step of modelling his game and work ethic on a more experienced member of the organisation although in this case someone probably needs to tell young Master Thurkle that attempting to drink Johnnie Walker scotch as Mark Heron does is not going to end well.
It only seems like yesterday that he had to shave less frequently than Ralphy and wore caps to formal club functions and now Charles is dabbling in Scottish blended whiskey, they just grow up so fast.....
Moving onto matters of high finance it would appear that Odartey has been struggling somewhat with the cost of living in Geraldton so much so that he is considering writing to the US Embassy in Canberra to see if the Free Trade Agreement between Oz and the US can be altered so as to make tomato sauce or ketchup as he calls it more affordable over here.
Rumour has it the poker games that are a rite of passage for all Buccs players on road trips have finally been given an official title. A red hot start from the team's own 'Captain Courageous' Matt Wunderberg finds him not only $250 better off but also presiding over the newly named Moot's motorised Magic Millions poker tournament whenever the lads are out of town.
Well that is all for this edition next time we'll discover what happens when a point guard takes to the ocean and the time a comedian came to Cataby.
Well it's finals time and last weekend the boys took game 1 at the new BWA Centre.
A lot can be said about a new stadium; everything is new, clean and perfectly in order. It was the first time the Buccs had ventured into Perry Lakes new home court as they played them earlier in the year at their old stadium.
It seems at this new stadium the chairs for the team benches fold up once the person sitting in it stands up. “Great idea” some would say, but every time the bench stood up to cheer for their teammates on court they often forgot that the seats have the fold up system and many Buccs players were seen falling on their butts.
Poor Clayton Dann even got a black eye from an elbow from Ralphy when the big fella lost his balance while on the bench.
From all reports our team manager Bert can't wait to get back to the new stadium as he thought it was a pleasure to do his role there with the helpful people who run the stadium. If you get a chance please go ask him as I am sure he will be more than happy to tell you all about it.
After our last home game of the regular season the annual Jeremy Morgan Golf Day was held, and as usual, fun was had by all and money was raised for Canteen in memory of Jezza.
There were plenty of antics on the day and some good and not so good golf was played. Coach Evans thought he would give himself an advantage and asked local golfing guru Shaun Cant to join his team (Shaun's handicap is around 1 or 2 but on this day it was Ray).
Captain Matt had a great day off the tee, belting every shot along way down the fairway….the only problem he and his team had is once they hit their drive they took an average 6 shots to finally get the ball in the whole (better work on yah short game next year bigfella).
There was a bit of protesting from the crowd when it was announced that the winners on the day was a tie between 2 teams in “The Coopers” and “Horse's Stable”……..
Each year “The Coopers” figure highly in the final results, some may say they don't quite score how others do and some say they are pretty good golfers. The verdict is still out on that.
The crowd didn't mind to much when they heard the Coopers called out but when “Horse's Stable” was announced there was stunned silence in the crowd. You see, the team was made up of Andrew (please don't count my windys) Horstman, Lethal Lee (best kick out of the rough you would ever see), Scott (is it ok to carry a spare ball to drop on the green) Rubery and Aaron (the greatest score keeper of all time) Ducas.
It came down to a coin toss and it seems justice may have been done with “The Coopers” winning the toss. Duke and Horse lodged an official protest immediately but once quizzed by Golf Pro Byron Clarkson, Duke decided it was a good idea to withdraw his protest when he realized he had to put the actual score not the score he felt his team deserved on each hole.
An investigation is now underway into the “The Coopers” actions this year and in previous years in the hope of uncovering any cheating that may have occurred within that team…………
Well the biggest road trip of the regular season has come and gone…….The team headed to Perth on Friday morning and unfortunately they went down in a close game to the Redbacks.
Then it was off to Kalgoorlie - Giants territory and it's never easy out there. Apart from the Giants being a good team, its cold and the locals are never too friendly, but reports are that the game was in hand early and the Buccs got the win by 18.
The difference between this road trip than any other the Buccs do is it's the only chance they get to let their hair down post match as there was no Sunday fixture. The trip is always sure to bring back some good stories and the reports came flooding back to Gero about the good times had by all celebrating the win.
The place of accommodation for the boys is also the pub of choice for some soft drinks, etc.….it is also the local karaoke bar and true to Buccs tradition some of the boys couldn't help themselves from getting up there and belting out a few tune's. Wittsy was first to go and do his fav song the “Gambler”, but he was not to be out done Brian who hit the stage with what can only be described as a unique Eminem song (kalgoorlie will never be the same). After a while most of the guys had gone up on stage but Lou & Clayton were still yet to go…..with some encouragement from their teammates they got up on stage and the place went silent when they started to sing their own rendition from the Duets movie theme “Cruisin”. There wasn't a dry eye in the place as Lou & Clay held hands and looked into each other's eye singing away.
It seems that the long time team physio needs a new alarm clock? Reports have come back that every one piled into the taxi's for the airport Sunday morning as most were just worried about getting themselves to the airport on time and they forgot to do a head count and BJ was left behind……..lucky for BJ the flight was delayed and he made it on time.
Well it seems one of my usual sources of gossip, GM Rubes, was very quiet when contacted this week for any gossip on the players etc. Rubes just gave a “no comment this week”.
I thought I better ask around to see what went down…… A few of the boys said Rubes made the trip out to Kal to support the team, but unlike other years when coaching he started drinking before the game and struggled to keep up with the boys post match. Capt. Matt said “We were running up and down playing and I could see Rubes giving all the Kal supporters a hard time in the bar up in the corner next to the court and at one stage he was surrounded by some not to happy supporters”. It seems the only way they could shut him up was to buy him free drinks all night, well it worked but the silence didn't take effect until the next day as Rubes was very quiet on the plane flight back to Perth and the Bus trip home.
Matt said that was more enjoyable than the win to see Rubes in so much pain as he usually is the noisiest one on the bus. The Perth tarmac will never be the same and Qantas have had to place a fresh order of those little white bags they keep in the seat pockets, I think he almost got put on the Terrorist list after that plane trip.
Well it seems the Buccs run to the finals isn't the only action seen on the courts at Tip Top Stadium throughout the week……
Every Monday night the GABA winter comp action takes place in which the pace is not as fast as the Buccs but there are still a few old faces from days gone by getting up and down the court showing off the skills.
One team in particular who call themselves the “Goats” seem to have more than its fair share of former Buccs players and dare I say coaches. They came together a few years back when Greg Brown and his mate Ray Evans noticed their waste-lines getting a little bit wider so they decided to enter a team in the comp to keep in shape and asked a few friends to join them also.
They put their heads together on whom to approach to join the team… Browny decided first that they will need someone to rebound for us guards so they approached big man Dan Hunt…Ray quickly added, “Well he is getting very old now so why don't we ask Andrew “Horse” Horstman as I'm sure Dan will get tired grabbing all those rebounds on his own”..….
They thought long and hard and eventually Ray though it would be good to ask Duke AKA Aaron Ducas to help in the back court. Greg said to Ray, “Mate that's a pretty talented team for winter comp we better ask a few players to make up the bench and when they come onto the court it will even out the comp a bit”…..so after much consideration Ray said, “Lets ask a pair of our old coaches in Dayle “Pinga” Joseph and Scott “Rubes” Rubery, they both look like they need a good run up and down and plus all those years of yelling at us players they can show us all how it should be done.”
The team is currently undefeated but there are some rumblings in the camp, it seems that since Ray and Greg formed the team they feel they should be getting a large % of the shots. When big man Dan was asked how the season was progressing by local journo Tommy Davis he quickly replied, “Nothing's changed…every time Greg gets the ball he shoots it”, to which Greg quickly replied, “Quiet big guy you would not have led the SBL in rebounds for all those years without me shooting so much!”
Tommy thought he would ask the former coaches for a comment during a time out…..he is still waiting for an answer as both Pinga and Rubes couldn't comment because they were still struggling to catch their breath from trying to keep up with their team mates. Ray piped up and said, “We have them on a fitness program and changed their diets too”. Tom asked for more details… “Well post match we like to have a couple of quiet beers so they have the job of getting all the drinks from the eski to work on their fitness and at the same time the diet consists of a limit of 8 beers instead of their stand 12-14”.
I'm sure there is more to come as both the Buccs and “former Buccs” AKA the “Goats” make a run to the Championship games……
Well the team returns after a 3 game road trip with a 2 wins 1 loss record. Seems it was quite an eventful trip both on and off the court.
On Saturday night DT had to leave the game with a cut eye……when Coach Evans asked the ref why no foul was called especially when there was blood everywhere the young man in charge said he couldn't see it ? To which Coach Evans quickly replied well now DT can't see anything because of all the blood in his eye *#$##* ………
Sundays game there was more action this time one of the Flames players took a real liking to BC (Brian Connolly) it seem every time Brian went near him the Flames player felt the need to touch BC's private parts WTF you might ask……..well BC didn't like this as you could imagine and after a while with no calls being made enough was enough and BC sent him flying and let the ref know his feelings……to which the ref let BC know his feeling and proceeded to chuck him out of the game, this did not go down to well with Team Manager guru Burt who had to say something to stick up for his mate…..Burt soon found out what the ref thought of him and handed him with a Tbomb (tech foul)
Asked post match about what happened BC was still stunned by what had taken place. “well at first I thought he was just trying to put me off my game but he really did take a liking to me I think he should have tried it on one of the young guys” what do you mean BC “well with all the down time we have had at the hotel we have spent more than the usual amount of time in front of the TV and earlier today Louie , Bubbles and Clayton were all laying on the folder bed together playing footsy's while watching a movie”……now there is what you call team bonding and then there is “please explain” their team mates are still waiting on the please explain part from the 3.
Monday the boys headed down to Hamilton Hill to play DT's old team the Cougars, the game turned out quite easy in the end them running out easy winners.
Then it was time to head back to GTown. After such a long draining weekend it was time to relax and put back fluids that the body had lost over the 3 day trip.
BC soon found out that in Australia if you are given a tech foul or ejected from a game there is a price to pay to the team, let's just say none of BC team mates had to buy a drink on the way home and even Burty helped out with supplying drinks for the trip home for his little indiscretion, Burt still reckons he did not say a thing……..
If you are not aware, part of the club's responsibility when we bring our US born players to our shores includes finding them a place to live. The past few years our Captain Moot (Mat Wundenberg) has moved in to show the boys the ropes and DT has also joined the house the last 2 years.
This year there also are 2 women living in the house in Ryan's wife Stacey and DT's girlfriend Sarah. Now you might think this would cause some issues with bathroom usage and getting access to the mirror with the girls…….but WRONG! It seems that each week Moot and DT are always the ones fighting to get use of the mirror in their preparation for going out in public. Moot tries to pull rank on DT as team Captain but DT never falls for that one; so it's a race each week to see who can get in the bathroom the fastest and lock the door to keep the other person out. You can often hear either one of them yelling out, “Please, oh please let me in.”
The place they stay at doesn't have a pool but that doesn't stop them from taking part in water sports. It seems that they put their heads together and came up with the idea of putting a water slide on the front lawn.
After a while it was decided that they should make a trip to Bunnings to purchase some rolls of black plastic to spread over the front lawn. Then all that was needed was water and dish washing detergent and they were set!
Well you could imagine the looks they were getting from their neighbors and people walking and driving down the street! Not satisfied with just running and launching themselves down the plastic in their bathers they wanted to add something to the experience so they decided that a “Super Hero” theme should be adopted……So off they went to see what they could come up with trying to outdo each other.
DT was first to appear with a head band and some green face paint, “I'm a ‘Teenage Ninja Turtle'”; then comes Ryan with a big Z painted on his chest, “I'm the ‘Z Man'”; then Brian comes out in his Y front Jocks, “I'm Mr. Wonderful” while flexing his muscles and last, but not least, Mat came out with his Dockers jumper with black face paint on…..
“That's not very creative, just a footballer,” DT suggests.
“Not just any footballer,” Matt proclaims.
“I'm ‘the WHIZ', the greatest man to play the game. He may now be retired my little mate Jeffery Farmer but boy was he great. The way he kicked those goals and celebrated like all his Xmas's had all come at once…”
Big Matt couldn't stop smiling as he reminisced about his favorite player the Whiz.
It's seems our Pirate mascot's got a little excited during last weekend's game and one in particular was asked to take a seat in the car park for the remainder of the game…..When asked for comments post match Captain Pugwash said, “It's not fair all I did was blow me horn”……. I can't help it if the Redbacks player doesn't like loud noises!”
It's was pointed out to him that no one likes a horn stuck directly in their ear as it may have a startling affect on them.
“Well if that's the case I will sit a few more rows back just to make sure I get to see the end of this week's game.”…….Good idea Captain Pugwash.
This week as we approach the ½ way point of the season, I felt it was time to touch on a few stats…..no not the leading points scored, rebounds, etc., but a few % from some different categories.
Let's start with the 3pt % - Who do you think leads the Buccs in this department?… In 3rd place we have “Z-man” Zamroz @ 45.5%; 2nd place is DT @ 46.6% and in 1st place is “The Big Smooth” Mick Jones @ 100% from behind the arc! Well ok, it is only 1 for 1 but big Mick has been asking Coach Evans to run a few more plays for him to get open from long range…….
Personal Fouls – Our Captain Moot leads the team with 47 closely followed by his wingman Ralphy with 46. When asked about being second in this category Ralphy quickly replied, “That's easy, everyone knows I love to play physical and any player that's gets near me this week I will just whack him to lift my foul count and will be in first place in no time”. He did ask if there was a team award for leading this stat.
Free Throws - 3rd place is DT @ 83.3%; 2nd place is “Zman” Zamroz @ 91.3% and 1st place is “The Big Smooth” once again @ 100% - 9 for 9.
Games Played – Rowey has played 171 games and sits 9th on the all time games played list and Captain Moot is 10th all time with 168 games.
The Buccs have had 100 Players suit up in the famous Blue & Gold colours since 1989….….Brian Connelly was the 100th player to do so this year.
Now to the serious stats in regards to games that are played on the team bus on the way home.
Rock Paper Scissors – Reigning Champ is Rowey always knows when to mix it up to confuse his team mates.
Bottles – Well there is no champ here as the boy's have trouble getting out of the teens with this game…..let's call it a work in progress. If you are not sure what ‘bottles” is; it is a game that the players play where they start counting from 1 upwards and every number that has a 7 or is a multiple of 7 you have to say “bottles”. Sound easy right? WRONG! Let's just say counting isn't the boy's strong point.
Name that song – This didn't last long as Tommy Witts preferred to sing the whole song……and if you have ever heard Wittsy sing, you could understand why the game got cancelled.
One last thing for tonight's edition….all of us here at the Buccs would like to wish Big Ben Pep a happy birthday for today, make sure you all say happy birthday to the big fella!
Well the website is official up and running http://www.geraldtonbuccaneers.com.au/ so make sure you all go online and check it out.
The team at Market Creations has gone above all expectations and has produced by far the best website in the league and one that even rivals NBL clubs if not goes past theirs…….
One minor error was that our angry ant little point guard was somehow not on the cover page along with his other team mates…..at first we all thought it was a prank just to stir him up a little (the problem has since been fixed) but it turns out DT hadn't given final approval as the day his photo was taken he had not applied any product to his hair and if he hasn't got those little spikes looking a million dollars then it's a no go.
When asked by the editor how long the delay will be DT quickly replied, “Yo man it takes a lot of time to get the doo looking like this and do you really think I'm going to be put on a website for my homies to see me not looking my best?”
During recent interviews with the players a local Journo asked the players to describe their team mates in no more than 2 words.
I've decided to use the responses from the most intelligent bloke on the team Lou Causer… It took the Journo a while to explain that Lou could only say 1 or 2 words….as we all know Lou loves to talk or in other words can't shut up some times.
We are still waiting for Lou to get back to us as he just couldn't say 1 or 2 words…………………..
The Buccs' facebook page has been gaining momentum and lots of new people are signing up and also making comments. People are even adding comments about “Back Courts Buccs”! Seems our great team manager Burt's wife Helen had something to say about the Y front jocks incident, saying he would do it in the nude….…….rumor has it Burt's nick name back at high school was “tripod”. When asked for an explanation no one wanted to elaborate………
Well the boys had a great weekend last week on the road. So what do you do when you win 2 games like that……… You run down the street in your Y front jocks? So the reports go that team manager Bert was so excited and after a few cool drinks on the way home to Gero he couldn't control his joy at the weekend's results and instead of a nude run out front of the imports house he thought best to keep the jocks on…..
Big Ben made his much anticipated 2010 debut and didn't let the boys down with 2 solid games after 2 years away from the game.
When asked about his first road trip with the team, Ben quickly replied, “the rookies these days have got a lot to learn…..back in my day we carried the bags for the veterans and did anything they asked”.
Things have changed since your early days Ben was informed. “We will see about that,” Ben quickly replied.
“That noisy bloke Louie and Bubbles really need to pick up the slack and show us old boys some respect.”
When quizzed about Bens comments Louie and Bubbles quickly replied that they had been taught all there rookie duties from Ralphy….
You could have heard a pin drop and then Captain Matt got involved “Ralphy bloody Ralphy are you kidding…he would have to be the worst rookie in the history of the Buccs for off court rookie duties”.
“Not once has he carried a veteran's bag or even sweep the floor prior to training!”
Ben quickly replied to the rookies, “Don't worry boys I will teach you all you need to know and if there is any hesitation lookout after all I'm 7ft tall and you are both 4ft nothing”.
Bubbles and Louie quickly replied, “Yes Mr. Pepper”
Stay tuned as I'm sure there will be more as the season progresses.
The Buccs return home after splitting last weekend road trip.
It was nearly a 0-2 weekend until Bubble's Wrensted came to the rescue with a last second shot off the board to win the game against the Suns.
Asked post match about making the last second shot Bubbles said excitedly “well you know boys it was meant to be…….i just got it and let it fly, I knew it was going in when it left my hand” to that his Captain Moot asked the question “why didn't you call board when you shot it” were still waiting for Bubbles reply…….
Coach Evens had the joy of moving house this week and many trips were made back and forth to and from his new house the people helping Ray out asked “why are you not placing anything in the boot of your car” Ray responded quickly that he did not want to misplace his golf clubs and at any minute he could receive a text from Browny for a quick game of golf and didn't want to have to pack them in the boot again…..
Seems this year's road trip have gone smoothly so far with no Chico rolls or any other food for that matter being stolen/misplaced from the bus driver, It is early days still and I'm sure Ralphy and the boys may get the urge to play a prank or 2 on the this year's driver.
Seems the return of Big Ben Pep has created some problems with the training singlet's, Team manager Burt handed Ben the only available singlet to the big guy on his return to training only to find it fitted him more like a sports bra than a training singlet…..needless to say his team mates were quick have a quick chuckle at the big guys expense, Big Pep did give it some thought but decided the colour didn't match his eyes so decided to skip on the singlet and wait for something more suitable for his 7'1' frame.
Well great to get the first win at home and third win in a row.
A bit more off season news, young Bucc Luke “Bubbles” Wrensted has joined the work force and our Major Sponsor Sun City Plumbing has helped the young fella out with a plumbing apprenticeship.
Well needless to say he has spent some time on the end of the shovel. When asked of his progress his boss Ash said he tries hard but he still has a lot to learn…but he provides the boys with a laugh every day.
We send him down to Bunnings to get some tools for us, so we ask him to buy things like a ‘left handed hammer” or a “right handed screw driver” and he always returns saying he can't find them anywhere, “they have normal hammers and screw drivers but none that are marked as you asked”……….Ash did say he may work it out one day.
It is Luke's birthday tonight so please wish him happy birthday when you see him, asked what he thought about his birthday he had this to say “well I'm so excited it's my 15th Birthday today”
He also said “I hope mum makes me my favorite sponge cake”….. “I love it when she put pretty pink sprinkles on it”
Also rumour has it that there is a house warming party at Rowboats house this weekend after the game….make sure you catch up with Boat to get his address.
Well its Buccs season again and what would a Buccs season be without our Back Court Buccs each home game……..
It's has been an eventful and fruitful off season for all involved with the Buccs. Berty our team manager turned his skills into sponsorship man and wow what an awesome job he has done for the club.
GM Rubes and his wife Tanya welcomed a baby boy Will to the family, so no guessing what he was up to in his first year of retirement from the coaching gig……
Young gun “pretty boy” Ralphy celebrated a birthday in the off season and from all reports it was a day to remember……well all except Ralphy that is. Phil and Deb's couch will never be the same and after a lovely speech from his girl Erin it's probably a good thing he didn't go into the medical profession after she said that when they first started dating he asking if there was any chance he could catch diabetes from her…..
We welcome 2 new faces to the club in Brian “C man” Connelly and Ryan “Z man” Zamroz or the “Brian & Ryan show”….. And Ryan's wife Stacy. We hope you enjoy your time here in Gtown.
This year the SBL re introduced the Pre Season Tournament so the boys all headed to Perth over the long weekend. Our Capt. Matt was unable to play due to some type of back injury, something he said happened at work …..but a few of the boys had their own diagnoses and reckon it may have been something called “shaggers back”
Also trusty assistant coach Duke thought he would do his bit for a fundraiser while on holiday in Kalbarri over the xmas break, part of it was to choose a colour and all involved would walk the streets dressed in that colour and help raise funds for the community, but Duke being Duke went the whole hog and coloured his hair….thinking it was a washable dye he quickly applied the colour only to read the packet after applying it to find out it was a permanent colour hence our red haired friend being even redder to this day.